Wednesday Number Ones is a weekly feature here at Comic Pants. We take the books that are premiering a first issue from that week and give a quick opinion on them. From time to time we may also include more than issue number ones in this feature. If a noteworthy one-shot or the first issue of a new story arc is released, we may talk about it in this feature.

This week we will cover The Pirates of Coney Island #1, Gen 13 #1, Darkman vs. Army of Darkness #1 of 4, Fables #1 Special Edition, Tales of the Unexpected #1 of 8, Ultimate Power #1 of 9, Bomb Queen II: Queen of Hearts #1, Dead @17 #1, and World Storm #1.

Dave Farabee Read and Thought:

Darkman vs. Army of Darkness #1 of 4 (Dynamite Entertainment): I should be an easy sell for this, being a fan of both the cult movies involved, but like so many TV/movie licenses brought to comics…it’s merely pedestrian. Shouldn’t this kind of thing have a sense of anarchic inspiration? Darkman’s hilariously over-the-top “Take the fucking elephant!” line is referenced, but I want a new line that’s equally worthy…not just an echo. Kinda sums up the whole issue, alas.

Fables #1 Special Edition (DC Comics/Vertigo): Sex. Violence. Fairy tales. It sounds like the recipe for a pretty crass outing, but re-reading the first issue of Fables (reprinted this week with the incentive price of 25¢) reminded me that Bill Willingham somehow found a way to play it smart. And witty. For those new to Fables’ concept (fairy tale characters living in modern-day New York), do not hesitate to dig up the quarter under your couch for this book. I’ve heard some say that its murder mystery opener is eclipsed by the second story arc and various others, but I still see in it all the qualities that have made the series comicdom’s most consistently great monthly comic. Not for nuthin’ did it earn the coveted Comic Pants “Hot Pants” pick!

Tales of the Unexpected #1 of 8 (DC Comics): Two stories here. First, crime writer David Lapham kicks off a mystery involving the new Spectre (now bonded to an ex-Gotham Cop), mixing the Spectre’s usual moral angsting with the grisliness of a Saw/Se7en-style crime. The melodrama runs a bit cartoonish for me to imagine returning to this one. More unusual is the second story by Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang - a plane crash/cannibalism mystery investigated by DC’s forgotten skeptical detective, Dr. 13. Who would’ve guessed the new approach to the character would result in double-entendres about engaging in cunnilingus with his teenage daughter? But there you go. Recommendation: read Neil Gaiman’s Books of Magic miniseries for a far more entertaining tour of DC’s mystical nooks and crannies.

David Martindale Read and Thought:

World Storm #1 (Wildstorm/DC Comics): A six page teaser story for the new Storm Watch book (told 100% in narrative captions), followed by twenty straight pages of advertisement, ended with six page teaser story for the new Tranquility book. I had been trying pretty hard to be enthusiastic about the relaunch of the Wildstorm universe, but the fact that they want to charge me $2.99 for a book that is 62.5% uninterupted advert pages, pretty much killed most of the interest I had in it. On, a positive note, it looks like Tranquility (the only title that seems to be a new idea in the universe’s relaunch) could end up being a pretty fun book.

Ultimate Power #1 of 9 (Marvel Comics): Land’s ultra-photo-realistic art style makes each panel look and feel almost just like a photograph, and that can be a bad thing. Instead of conveying any sense of action or fluidity, each panel feels like a still frame. If the book were an art book, I would be perfectly happy, but it is supposed to be a story. For a first issue of a high-profile superhero cross-over comic, there should really be a more action or at the very least, the use of more than one of the teams involved in the cross-over. Bendis writes some pretty snappy dialogue, and Greg Land draws some real pretty splash pages. If you are a fan of Bendis and/or Greg Land, you’ll probably dig this one. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get into it.

Nick Budd Read and Thought:

Dead @17 #1 (Viper Comics): Josh Howard re-starts his signature title, and again, it somehow misses the mark for me. His art still is enjoyable, so simple and easy to look at, but its qualities can’t make up for the slow and seemingly bland story put forth in this first issue. What’s my biggest complaint? There’s no action. I understand the need for some exposition and some time to introduce the main characters, but I thought that this book was about killing monsters, demons and all things evil. What I got was setup, which was less than thrilling.

Bomb Queen II: Queen of Hearts #1 (Image/Shadowline): Summed up, Bomb Queen is very boobalicious, and while the adage that sex sells still exists and more often that not works, here it feels just a bit overdone. Actually, everything about Bomb Queen is amped to the extreme: The stylized, throw away characters, the in your face sexuality and the blatant and very campy violence. Which is the point of it, really, and while I do love Jimmie Robinson’s art and acknowledge the dark comedy aspect of the book (something I normally like), the story itself just doesn’t click with me.

Randy Lander Read and Thought:

Gen 13 #1 (Wildstorm): From Gail Simone and Michael Turner protege Talent Caldwell comes an update to the original Gen 13 that hits all the things I didn’t really like about the first series. Rather than hitting the free-wheeling manic comedy of Adam Warren, Simone goes closer to the government conspiracy creating teenage supersoldiers of J. Scott Campbell’s original. Fans of those original issues will probably enjoy this contemporary spin on teen bonding and evil secret labs, I just don’t happen to be one of those fans.

The Pirates of Coney Island #1 (Image): Well, that was… weird. Also violent, dark and intriguing. Not a crazy humor romp, but instead a gritty tale of homeless teens and gang warfare, with amazing artwork from Vasilis Lolos, whose work carries influences ranging from Becky Cloonan to Teddy Kristiansen and a stylish use of color that very much catches the eye. Hit or miss? Too early to tell, but it’s an interesting opener.