Rumble Pants I: Sweet Sixteen
What is Rumble Pants? Well, the Panteon has decided to play at god once more. We take a few select comic characters and pit them against one another for our amusement, but we figured why keep the fun all to ourselves? So we decided on a format that would require your participation and will hopefully provide amusement for you at the same time. The format is a single elimination tournament with weekly rounds decided by you, the reader. Just keep reading to help decide the ultimate fate of some of your favorite comic characters!
For simplicity’s sake we’re starting at the Sweet Sixteen stage. Just vote in each of the four Villain Division match-ups and each of the four Hero Division match-ups to keep your favorites in the tournament. Remember, this isn’t about who would be most likely win in each fight; it’s about who you want to win each fight and advance to the next round. Click the bracket thumbnail above to the side to see how the tournament has progressed so far. Next week will be the Elite Eight! If you don’t see your favorite characters in the tournament, don’t worry, we’ll be doing a whole new bracket after we crown an overall champ.
Villain Division
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Hero Division
Is it scary that the closest race (at time I posted, of course) is between Gnort and Squirrel Girl?? A fun feature!
10 May 2007 at 10:40 am
QuoteActually, I was really surprised that this fight was the closest. I had predicted an easy win for SG
10 May 2007 at 10:43 am
QuoteG’Nort or Squirrel Girl?
Talk about cutting the baby in half…
10 May 2007 at 10:44 am
Quoteheh, everyone I voted for in the villains category is currently behind.
Sided with the guys in the lead for the heroes though!
Too bad Batroc is loosing to Harley, don’t get me wrong I like Harley and all but she’s just a loony ditz, while nothing can compaire to zee debonair charm of Batroc zee Lepair!
Oh and poll or no poll Deadshot is so much cooler than Bullseye it isn’t funny. Freakin’ philistines!
10 May 2007 at 10:45 am
QuoteWord
10 May 2007 at 10:48 am
QuoteI haven’t heard of half these characters, so in each fight I went with the one I knew. Sorry.
10 May 2007 at 11:12 am
Quotenot to be a spoil-sport, but doesn’t Darkseid (or Thanos) automatically win every round after this one?
10 May 2007 at 11:36 am
QuoteOnly if that’s who you want to win. Personally I would vote for Deadshot over Darkseid purely because I think he’s cooler. I don’t always vote for the most likely winner; I vote for my favorites.
10 May 2007 at 11:52 am
QuoteWouldn’t BOXER SHORTS be a better title.
Deadshot will make a comeback and take down that poser Bullseye!
10 May 2007 at 11:58 am
QuoteCan there be a bonus round when all is said and done? One where all of the other combatants get to play ‘Kick the Corpse’ with Batroc’s remains?
10 May 2007 at 12:03 pm
QuoteAs much as I love Thanos, he is Just Imagine Jim Starlin Creating Darkseid. DS would Omega effect him in an eyeblink. Still, on average, Darkseid has appeared in more crappy stories than Thanos. Kirby and Simonson excepted, of course.
G’Nort gets over Squirrel Girl because he wasn’t used to take fourth wall cheap shots at their readers like Slott did, and, well, Justice League America #36 is one of The Greatest Comics Of All Time.
Bulllseye beats Deadshot, because Floyd would never sink to Bulls’ depths.
Dr. Strange over Dr. Fate because Dr. Fate never seems to know who the hell he is until there’s a BIG UNIVERSAL REVAMP, and then it’s back to square one. I feel sorry for the guy.
10 May 2007 at 12:13 pm
QuoteMy picks…
Darkseid Omega Beams Thanos out of existence. The tricky thing in that match is that, knock-off or no, Thanos is a bit more interesting to me as a character than Darkseid, and he’s been in better stories lately. BUT…I picture that battle being large scale, and because I like Darkseid’s Fourth World accomplices over Thanos’ sidekicks, and because I just WANT Darkseid to resume his place of greatness…he gets the vote.
Deadshot caps Bullseye. Why? Because Bullseye’s played out and Deadshot’s a rising star. Sure, it took DC ten or fifteen years to realize all the work Ostrander did with the character in the late 80s could be continued, but still…love the character. Truthfully, Bullseye’s his superior, but I’m going with the idea that Bullseye underestimates Floyd…and gets real dead as a result.
Batroc kicks Harley’s butt. I like Harley better, but she loses points for the fact that she’s never been a great fit in the DC Universe proper, and besides…she’s just not the fighter he is. I’d like to see the character make a comeback from punchline status, and, uh…beating up a crazy girl is just the way to do it.
Owl guts Penguin. Penguin’s become a much cooler bad guy since Dini and Timm remade him as a smooth information broker. Still, Owl’s a longtime cult fave for me, going back to his role in the “Owl/Octopus” gang war in Spectacular Spider-Man a zillion years ago. He has weird hair, leg braces, a Jack the Ripper coat, and cool wrist blades. He also looks cool as hell when Tim Sale draws him. It’s time he made a comeback, and offing the Penguin’s a good move toward credibility.
Corsair blasts Adam Strange. Despite Andy Diggle’s excellent revamping of Adam Strange, I have too much fondness for Corsair from a youth spent reading X-Men. Would be pretty cool to see their back up teams going against each other too: Starjammers versus the Omega Men.
Ka-Zar drops a Zabu on Warlord. Barely familiar with these guys, but I more or less like ‘em both. I just like Ka-Zar a bit better, so Warlord must die.
Dr. Strange makes Dr. Fate implode. Never liked Dr. Fate beyond the great costume, and *always* liked Strange, even if writers are always struggling with how to handle him. Wong’ll be dusting the Helmet of Fate on a mantle the next day.
G’Nort pees on Squirrel Girl. I don’t think I’ve ever read a Squirrel Girl story that made me laugh, but at least when I was a kid, I thought G’Nort was pretty funny. And I love how Kevin Maguire draws him. So he wins!
10 May 2007 at 12:58 pm
QuoteMon dieu! What an outrageously unsportsmanlike request. But none too surprizing coming from someone who eez rooting for a woman inzane enough to love zee Joker.
10 May 2007 at 1:01 pm
QuoteI reety much echo what you just said, Mr. Farabee.
10 May 2007 at 1:27 pm
QuoteBattroc over HARLY why? Frankly I just never liked her.
Bullseye over deadshot (he’s meaner and his company cares about him more than dc cares about Deadshot.
Darkside thanos TIE Thanos gives Darkside “cliff notes on the “Anti-life Equation and Darkside gives thanos the porno Death made to pay off her student loan
10 May 2007 at 1:29 pm
QuoteSeems to me that Darkseid’s neer really had the moment of universal triumph that Thanos had in Infinity Gauntlet. Thanos lost eventually, out of his own boredom as much as anything else, but Darkseid’s only equivalent moment was in a JLA alternate future.
10 May 2007 at 2:58 pm
QuoteYou know, I made this comment when we were setting up as well. But thinking about it, it really depends. I mean, if you were to vote for Bullseye over Thanos, you could easily justify it as Bullseye getting a contract to kill Darkseid, loading up on tech from New Genesis (by stealing it, naturally). Or Harley Quinn tricking Darkseid into feeding himself into the Source Wall or something.
But yeah, I’ll be surprised if Darkseid isn’t the big winner on the villain side. The question then is, which heroes can take him? G’nort’s a Green Lantern, that counts for something. Squirrel Girl has beaten Galactus and everybody else (if you believe Dan Slott’s GLA stories). And either Doc Strange or Dr. Fate could put up a fight against Darkseid.
As for my picks:
1. Darkseid stomps Thanos. Thanos has been in more good stories and is probably a richer character at this point (I can hear Dan G. sharpening knives for me in the background now), but Darkseid is the original, Thanos is the knock-off. Although Dan has a good point that Thanos has triumphed, where Darkseid generally hasn’t.
2. I’m with Dave F. on Bullseye vs. Deadshot. Yeah, from a pure power standpoint, Bullseye is tougher, but Deadshot’s no slouch, and he’s taken on Batman… I think he can take on a guy that Daredevil can beat.
3. I loves me the Batroc, but I’m not surprised he’s going down to the more well-known Harley Quinn. Maybe she used some of Joker’s gadgets, or maybe he realized, despite his superior savate skills, that “Mon dieu! This woman, she is ze crazy!” (Btw, Murphy, I’m deducting cool points for not liking Batroc ze leaper.
3. With Dave on The Owl vs. Penguin, too. Owl is a tougher physical combatant, and meaner to boot. But Penguin has those machine gun umbrellas, maybe he just gunned the guy down when he saw his silhouette as Owl was gliding in for the kill.
4. Adam Strange (especially post-Diggle and Ferry) is a badass, and he’s got a jetpack, but Corsair’s a space pirate with twin energy pistols. I went with Corsair, although I can’t deny that Strange winning feels right too.
5. Ka-Zar vs. Warlord? Warlord’s got a pistol, which gives him a bit of an advantage, but Ka-Zar’s been doing this since he was a kid, and Travis Morgan dropped into the Savage World when he was an adult. Advantage: Ka-Zar.
6. Dr. Fate vs. Dr. Strange: Fate does suffer from “who-am-I?”-itis, but Strange has a hard time finding a writer who “gets” him too. Strange is Sorcerer Supreme, Fate is a Lord of Order. I think Strange takes it, if only because his more human nature allows him to improvise better, but this’d be a hell of a big battle, and a good warm-up if one of them winds up having to take on the ultra-powerful Darkseid. (My prediction for the final match, btw.)
7. Though I like G’nort better, I’m afraid that a hapless dog with a Green Lantern ring doesn’t stand a chance against a lady who has battled Galactus and any number of other Marvel baddies.
Hope you guys are having as much fun with this one as we are. We spent a decent chunk of yesterday putting together match-ups between some more unusual and less well-known (though not totally obscure) characters, and I think this is going to be a fun feature running for quite some time.
10 May 2007 at 3:15 pm
QuoteMy picks were the same as Randy’s, except I took Adam Strange over Corsair. I’ve just never been much of a Corsair fan.
10 May 2007 at 3:29 pm
QuoteGreat game.
10 May 2007 at 3:36 pm
QuoteMe either, besides Adam Strange has the 50’s space-man cool all over that silly space pirate.
10 May 2007 at 4:49 pm
Quote1. I’ve always enjoyed any story that Thanos has appeared in, there’s no denying that. There’s also no denying that he’s a powerhouse of a character, especially if he’s got his hands on the Infinity Gauntlet. That said…Darkseid wins. Maybe he Omega Beams him to death or subdues him and then tortures him to death in the pits of Apokolips. Or if the fight is one of thos knock down, drag out ones, then he’d just boom tube his ass right into the sun.
2. Don’t ever underestimate my man Floyd. Bullseye is no doubt the better hand to hand combatant here but if Deadshot got in some good first shots (yes, pun intended) and took out say..Bullseye’s knees or whatever other vital body part, then the fight’s done with and Floyd’s lighting up a cigarette over Lester’s dearly departed corpse.
3. This one’s a toss up. Harley’s insane, so that might give her the upper hand. That and if she uses her pet hyenas then I fear for Batroc the Leaper’s life. My heart votes for the French but it doesn’t look good.
4. The Owl wins this one. Grittier, better hand to hand combatant and just meaner…These things can’t be taken down by trick umbrellas. I’m sorry, Penguin, you’re cool but The Owl is cooler, so hasta la vista.
5. I love the Starjammers and I love Corsair…Still, Adam Strange for me is more interesting. Jet-packs, superior technology and Zeta Beam technology gives him the advantage in my mind. Still, I’d love it if this turned into a spaceship dog-fight, with Adam in a Raan aircraft and Corsair in the Starjammer. Would be very cool.
6. I actually don’t know much about Warlord, as the character never really struck me. Ka-Zar on the other hand is a bad muther and would take out his opponent Zabu style.
7. The magic battle to end all magic battles…For me, this ones a tough call. I love Doc Strange. Great character and powerful to boot but Doctor Fate is too. He has suffered from some cheesy stories and the overall “I don’t know who I am-itis” that the rest of the Panteon have mentioned. Still, if whoever’s in control of the helmet of fate was knocked unconcious or whatever, then Nabu (as he’s done recently) would subvert control and then this is a whole new ball game and Fate in my opinion is the winner.
8. Squirrel Girl’s just a damn cool character. She’s taken out Thanos, Terrax and if Randy’s right, Galactus. G’nort may be cool and all but he just isn’t a match for this kind of power….not to mention a whole host of squirrels that would inevitably attack him and bite that ring right off of his finger. Squirrel Girl wins this one.
10 May 2007 at 5:01 pm
QuoteKeep in mind that this isn’t a contest of who would win in a fight- it’s a contest of who you think is cooler. If you think the guy who would win in a fight is cooler, go nuts. But that isn’t the base criteria.
10 May 2007 at 5:29 pm
QuoteI think G’nort would be ahead if we’d picked better art for him. The present art is, I want to say, maybe from Joe Staton. Whoever it is, he made G’nort look like some lame-ass grampa-dog. But had we gone with classic Kevin Maguire art, which has MUCH more personality…
http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/comics101/images/2005/apr13/gnort.jpg
…I feel certain G’nort would be destroying the harlot competition. You know it’s true. Just look how cool his paw-ring is on that page!
10 May 2007 at 5:49 pm
QuoteIn her very first appearance (back in the early 80s?) she handily defeated a screaming-like-a-little-girl Doctor Doom. You Do Not Fuck With Squirrel Girl.
I think a battle between Darkseid and Thanos would end in total destruction of the universe, so that one’s a draw.
And the idea that Batroc could get his ass kicked by Harley Quinn is absurd; this is about what comic book character would win in a fight, not which character you secretly wanna fuck.
10 May 2007 at 6:08 pm
QuoteWaitasec…
That’s why I picked Batroc.
10 May 2007 at 6:25 pm
QuoteDave, Squirrel Girl can not be destroyed. And though the Kevin Maguire artwork is snazzy looking, this little ditty by Paul Pelletier….
http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/features/images/slott/gla03cov1.jpg
…Should seal the deal on who the cooler character really is.
10 May 2007 at 6:26 pm
QuoteWhoops, I voted on which character I like the best, no who I’d like to see in a fight, although I guess it’s the same, more or less. Some quick thoughts:
1. I agree with the praise for Owl here. There’s almost something Victorian about him, and he can fit into grim & gritty stories as easily as good & goofy stories. Then again, I suppose you could say that about almost all of Batman’s enemies.
2. I’ve never really liked Harley Quinn outside of the 1990s cartoons.
3. G’Nort scores a lot of points for being the star of one of my favorite single issues of all time: the “Justice League Antarctica” annual.
For some reason wordpress tells me “duplicate post detected” yet I can’t see my own post so I didn’t know if it went up.
10 May 2007 at 7:51 pm
QuoteActually, as I said in the comments, and as it says in the initial write-up, it isn’t about who would win in a fight. It’s about who you WANT to win in a fight. Big difference.
10 May 2007 at 7:55 pm
QuoteI WANT Batroc to leap the shit out of Harley Quinn: to me it’s about who has the more annoying accent, and HQ wins that one easily, therefore she must DIE.
And let’s be honest, most of these characters aren’t really cool … loveable, perhaps, but definitely not cool.
Anyone have any really good Squirrel Girl slash fiction? Maybe Nick?
10 May 2007 at 8:21 pm
QuoteYou all sicken me. G’NORT, people! The man who faced down the Interior Designer of the Universe! The guy even Manga Kahn couldn’t sell to anyone!
10 May 2007 at 9:11 pm
QuoteAnd now…
NOW G’NORT IS PISSED.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/81/Gnort.jpg
10 May 2007 at 9:21 pm
QuoteThe photo provided actually led me to confuse G’nort with Snarf from the Thundercats. Whoops.
(Although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure Squirrel Girl could take Snarf.)
10 May 2007 at 10:39 pm
QuoteAlways counting out Snarf. Snarf snarf
10 May 2007 at 11:32 pm
QuoteCome on now people, Batroc smokes Harley Quinn because he iz ze Franch leapear.
Oh yeah and Warlord totally owns Ka-Zar.
11 May 2007 at 12:48 am
QuoteG’Nort scores a lot of points for being a main character in one of my favorite single-issues ever: the Justice League Antarctica annual.
11 May 2007 at 10:13 am
QuoteI can’t believe that Deadshot is getting spanked so badly! Floyd Lawton may not be as good a shot as whatever-his-name-is, but Lawton’s certainly a bigger badass than Bullseye.
I bet if the Wall faced Bullseye, ol’ Bull’d pee himself. Lawton never backed down to here though.
14 May 2007 at 3:08 pm
Quote