I bet if the Wall faced Bullseye, ol’ Bull’d pee himself. Lawton never backed down to here though.

Oh yeah and Warlord totally owns Ka-Zar.

The photo provided actually led me to confuse G’nort with Snarf from the Thundercats. Whoops.

(Although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure Squirrel Girl could take Snarf.)

Always counting out Snarf. Snarf snarf

(Although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure Squirrel Girl could take Snarf.)

And now…

NOW G’NORT IS PISSED.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/81/Gnort.jpg

And let’s be honest, most of these characters aren’t really cool … loveable, perhaps, but definitely not cool.

Anyone have any really good Squirrel Girl slash fiction? Maybe Nick?

And the idea that Batroc could get his ass kicked by Harley Quinn is absurd; this is about what comic book character would win in a fight, not which character you secretly wanna fuck.

Actually, as I said in the comments, and as it says in the initial write-up, it isn’t about who would win in a fight. It’s about who you WANT to win in a fight. Big difference.

1. I agree with the praise for Owl here. There’s almost something Victorian about him, and he can fit into grim & gritty stories as easily as good & goofy stories. Then again, I suppose you could say that about almost all of Batman’s enemies.

2. I’ve never really liked Harley Quinn outside of the 1990s cartoons.

3. G’Nort scores a lot of points for being the star of one of my favorite single issues of all time: the “Justice League Antarctica” annual.

For some reason wordpress tells me “duplicate post detected” yet I can’t see my own post so I didn’t know if it went up.

I think G’nort would be ahead if we’d picked better art for him. The present art is, I want to say, maybe from Joe Staton. Whoever it is, he made G’nort look like some lame-ass grampa-dog. But had we gone with classic Kevin Maguire art, which has MUCH more personality…

…I feel certain G’nort would be destroying the harlot competition. You know it’s true. Just look how cool his paw-ring is on that page!

Dave, Squirrel Girl can not be destroyed. And though the Kevin Maguire artwork is snazzy looking, this little ditty by Paul Pelletier….
http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/features/images/slott/gla03cov1.jpg

…Should seal the deal on who the cooler character really is.

And the idea that Batroc could get his ass kicked by Harley Quinn is absurd; this is about what comic book character would win in a fight, not which character you secretly wanna fuck.

Waitasec…

That’s why I picked Batroc.

8. Squirrel Girl’s just a damn cool character. She’s taken out Thanos, Terrax and if Randy’s right, Galactus. G’nort may be cool and all but he just isn’t a match for this kind of power….not to mention a whole host of squirrels that would inevitably attack him and bite that ring right off of his finger. Squirrel Girl wins this one.

In her very first appearance (back in the early 80s?) she handily defeated a screaming-like-a-little-girl Doctor Doom. You Do Not Fuck With Squirrel Girl.

I think a battle between Darkseid and Thanos would end in total destruction of the universe, so that one’s a draw.

And the idea that Batroc could get his ass kicked by Harley Quinn is absurd; this is about what comic book character would win in a fight, not which character you secretly wanna fuck.

http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/comics101/images/2005/apr13/gnort.jpg

…I feel certain G’nort would be destroying the harlot competition. You know it’s true. Just look how cool his paw-ring is on that page!

2. Don’t ever underestimate my man Floyd. Bullseye is no doubt the better hand to hand combatant here but if Deadshot got in some good first shots (yes, pun intended) and took out say..Bullseye’s knees or whatever other vital body part, then the fight’s done with and Floyd’s lighting up a cigarette over Lester’s dearly departed corpse.

3. This one’s a toss up. Harley’s insane, so that might give her the upper hand. That and if she uses her pet hyenas then I fear for Batroc the Leaper’s life. My heart votes for the French but it doesn’t look good.

4. The Owl wins this one. Grittier, better hand to hand combatant and just meaner…These things can’t be taken down by trick umbrellas. I’m sorry, Penguin, you’re cool but The Owl is cooler, so hasta la vista.

5. I love the Starjammers and I love Corsair…Still, Adam Strange for me is more interesting. Jet-packs, superior technology and Zeta Beam technology gives him the advantage in my mind. Still, I’d love it if this turned into a spaceship dog-fight, with Adam in a Raan aircraft and Corsair in the Starjammer. Would be very cool.

6. I actually don’t know much about Warlord, as the character never really struck me. Ka-Zar on the other hand is a bad muther and would take out his opponent Zabu style.

7. The magic battle to end all magic battles…For me, this ones a tough call. I love Doc Strange. Great character and powerful to boot but Doctor Fate is too. He has suffered from some cheesy stories and the overall “I don’t know who I am-itis” that the rest of the Panteon have mentioned. Still, if whoever’s in control of the helmet of fate was knocked unconcious or whatever, then Nabu (as he’s done recently) would subvert control and then this is a whole new ball game and Fate in my opinion is the winner.

8. Squirrel Girl’s just a damn cool character. She’s taken out Thanos, Terrax and if Randy’s right, Galactus. G’nort may be cool and all but he just isn’t a match for this kind of power….not to mention a whole host of squirrels that would inevitably attack him and bite that ring right off of his finger. Squirrel Girl wins this one.

My picks were the same as Randy’s, except I took Adam Strange over Corsair. I’ve just never been much of a Corsair fan.

Me either, besides Adam Strange has the 50’s space-man cool all over that silly space pirate.

not to be a spoil-sport, but doesn’t Darkseid (or Thanos) automatically win every round after this one?

You know, I made this comment when we were setting up as well. But thinking about it, it really depends. I mean, if you were to vote for Bullseye over Thanos, you could easily justify it as Bullseye getting a contract to kill Darkseid, loading up on tech from New Genesis (by stealing it, naturally). Or Harley Quinn tricking Darkseid into feeding himself into the Source Wall or something.

But yeah, I’ll be surprised if Darkseid isn’t the big winner on the villain side. The question then is, which heroes can take him? G’nort’s a Green Lantern, that counts for something. Squirrel Girl has beaten Galactus and everybody else (if you believe Dan Slott’s GLA stories). And either Doc Strange or Dr. Fate could put up a fight against Darkseid.

As for my picks:

1. Darkseid stomps Thanos. Thanos has been in more good stories and is probably a richer character at this point (I can hear Dan G. sharpening knives for me in the background now), but Darkseid is the original, Thanos is the knock-off. Although Dan has a good point that Thanos has triumphed, where Darkseid generally hasn’t.

2. I’m with Dave F. on Bullseye vs. Deadshot. Yeah, from a pure power standpoint, Bullseye is tougher, but Deadshot’s no slouch, and he’s taken on Batman… I think he can take on a guy that Daredevil can beat.

3. I loves me the Batroc, but I’m not surprised he’s going down to the more well-known Harley Quinn. Maybe she used some of Joker’s gadgets, or maybe he realized, despite his superior savate skills, that “Mon dieu! This woman, she is ze crazy!” (Btw, Murphy, I’m deducting cool points for not liking Batroc ze leaper.

3. With Dave on The Owl vs. Penguin, too. Owl is a tougher physical combatant, and meaner to boot. But Penguin has those machine gun umbrellas, maybe he just gunned the guy down when he saw his silhouette as Owl was gliding in for the kill.

4. Adam Strange (especially post-Diggle and Ferry) is a badass, and he’s got a jetpack, but Corsair’s a space pirate with twin energy pistols. I went with Corsair, although I can’t deny that Strange winning feels right too.

5. Ka-Zar vs. Warlord? Warlord’s got a pistol, which gives him a bit of an advantage, but Ka-Zar’s been doing this since he was a kid, and Travis Morgan dropped into the Savage World when he was an adult. Advantage: Ka-Zar.

6. Dr. Fate vs. Dr. Strange: Fate does suffer from “who-am-I?”-itis, but Strange has a hard time finding a writer who “gets” him too. Strange is Sorcerer Supreme, Fate is a Lord of Order. I think Strange takes it, if only because his more human nature allows him to improvise better, but this’d be a hell of a big battle, and a good warm-up if one of them winds up having to take on the ultra-powerful Darkseid. (My prediction for the final match, btw.)

7. Though I like G’nort better, I’m afraid that a hapless dog with a Green Lantern ring doesn’t stand a chance against a lady who has battled Galactus and any number of other Marvel baddies.

Hope you guys are having as much fun with this one as we are. We spent a decent chunk of yesterday putting together match-ups between some more unusual and less well-known (though not totally obscure) characters, and I think this is going to be a fun feature running for quite some time.