Wednesday Number Ones is a weekly feature here at Comic Pants. We take the books that are premiering a first issue from that week and give a quick opinion on them. From time to time we may also include more than issue number ones in this feature. If a noteworthy one-shot or the first issue of a new story arc is released, we may talk about it in this feature.

This week we will cover Amory Wars #1, Avengers Classic #1, Black Diamond #1 of 6, Bump #1, Franklin Richards World Be Warned One Shot, Marvel Illustrated Treasure Island #1, Mystic Arcana: Magik #1, Salvador #1, Sub-Mariner #1 of 6, Tank Girl The Gifting #1 of 4, and World War Hulk #1 of 5.

Nick Budd Read and Thought:

Salvador #1
Writer: Mark Polish, Michael Polish & Sebastian Jones
Artist: Steph Stamb
Company: Boom! Studios

Okay…What’s going on? Where are the words? Have we somehow entered a silent land where the going ons of characters are only told with surrealistic and cryptic imagery? And the key word in that sentence is cryptic, as everything about this first issue, from the odd Silver Surfer type hero to the religious iconography and a chrysalis like transformation to what look like Ancient Mayans living beneath the earth in a wondrous jungle, reads about as well as a puddle of muddy water. If you’re shaking your head, trying to fathom what it is I’m talking about, welcome to Salvador, people. If you’re looking for a book to shake your head in confusion at and gander at some Julie Bell and Esad Ribic-like art, then this is the book just for you. If you’re not…It’s especially skipable.

The Amory Wars
Writer: Claudio Sanchez
Artist: Gus Vasquez
Company: Image Comics

Welcome to what I can only believe to be Coheed and Cambria’s super secret rendition of Total Recall 2, only this time they’ve skimped on the laughable Schwarchenegger protagonist and an over the top story that heavily played upon the sci-fi action angle and inserted instead a meta plot that delves into things called The Heaven’s Fence, a group of angelic like people called the Prise, and the murdering of children that may or may not be infected with a virus that could wipe out the entire world. All kidding and Total Recall jokes aside, there’s more than that being set up and really, the amount of things going on might be the book’s major fault as there’s just too much packed in for any one thing to really to grab the reader’s attention. Maybe worth a glance but not one to go out of your way for.

Mystic Arcana: Magik
Writers: Louise Simonson & David Sexton
Artists: Steve Scott & Eric Nguyen
Company: Marvel Comics

Two stories. Two main characters battling Egyptian-type baddies. Both are quality reads. The first, featuring a character I know next to nothing about, Ian McNee, suffers slightly due to it being book-ended into two different sections to make way for the other, slightly less interesting Magik storyline. In truth though, it’s the superior of the two with artwork by Dan Nguyen and a tight, very quest-centric story that has McNee having a battle of the wits against an Egyptian goddess. It’s a nice story that doesn’t go for the cheap action and instead gives us something that is enjoyable and worth reading. The biggest question of the day though is really this: Does this issue really sell the idea of a magic crossover event? I think it does with its connected story lines and I’m personally interested to see where those branches of the story lead. Recommended.

Dave Farabee Read and Thought:

Sub-Mariner #1 of 6
Writers: Matt Cherniss & Peter Johnson
Artist: Phil Briones
Company: Marvel Comics

The increasingly popular Atlantean a-hole is back. This time out, Marvel’s longtime ultra-nationalist is almost the moderate as Namor finds himself caught between a belligerent S.H.I.E.L.D. and the possibility that a splinter cell of Atlanteans may have committed a terrorist act on the United States. This is very much a Civil War through-line, right down to the Initiative banner and a possible role by one of Civil War’s instigators, the supervillain Nitro. And it’s pretty solid, with detailed art that gives Atlantis its due and calls to mind the work of Trevor Hairsine. A few plot points are a bit heavy on the easy emotional grabs (nothing like showing a kid right before he gets exploded), but the writers generally angle towards a more politically savvy approach with Namor less the warlord, more the politician caught between a rock and a hard place. Like so many Marvel ventures of late, I see this as going over well with Civil War fans, less so with its critics.

Franklin Richards: World Be Warned (one-shot)
Writers: Chris Eliopoulos & Mark Sumerak
Artist: Chris Eliopoulos
Company: Marvel Comics

The gist of all the various Franklin Richards specials is “Mr. Fantastic’s kid gets into hi-tech hi-jinx as drawn by Bill Waterson.” Well, not actually Bill Waterson, but as close a pastiche as I’ve ever seen. So close, in fact, that when the artist draws characters that don’t line up with pre-existing Calvin & Hobbes characters (Susie Derkins, Calvin’s dad, etc.), they look notably uninspired. That bothers me, but probably won’t bother kids, who’ll enjoy the clever dialogue and fast-paced vignettes of Franklin messing around with his dad’s inventions, fending off bullies, and swiping the Hulk’s candy.

Tank Girl: The Gifting #1 of 4
Writer: Alan Martin
Artist: Ashley Wood
Company: IDW Publishing

Confession: I’ve never read any Tank Girl before. Saw part of the movie. Quickly realized I’d seen enough. But whether or not the new Tank Girl from IDW is representative of past outings, I kinda dug it. Appropriately illustrated with the anarchic linework of Ashley Wood, it’s a series of completely unrelated vignettes about the post-acocalyptic punk chick hanging out with her pals. She drinks, she blows stuff up, she attaches herself to a Wile E. Coyote-style rocket, and she solves the mystery of how dogshit got in her friend’s handbag. I cracked up several times and was generally impressed with the comic timing, though it all falls on the lightweight side since there’s no real intro to the characters or sense of the setting (beyond Tank Girl having a mutant kangaroo boyfriend). Again, dunno if this is normal for Tank Girl or not, but I had fun. Check it out if you’re in the mood for some wise-ass debauchery and/or Ashley Wood art.

Dan Grendell Read and Thought:

Treasure Island #1 of 6
Writer: Roy Thomas
Artists: Mario Gully and Pat Davidson
Company: Marvel Comics

It seems odd to find such a pedigreed author as Roy Thomas on an adaptation book like this. He defined an era of the Avengers, for pete’s sake, was even Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief, and I’m hard-pressed to think of any Marvel title from the 70’s that doesn’t have his influence on it in some way. Still, it’s nice to see Thomas working somewhere, and he does a good job here of evoking Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic tale of adventure and pirates. Gully and Davidson do a decent job on the art, though the real star is the coloring by A. Crossley. What is going to help this book the most, though, is the timing of its release- with the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie having just hit, interest in pirates is high. I don’t know if that will translate into people following this series for all six issues, though.

Bump #1 of 4
Creator: Mark Kidwell
Company: Fangoria Comics

Well, it’s the first comic from new publisher Fangoria, and it’s not very good. Take a retarded/inbred serial killer with a genital obsession and a protective mother. Have a country sheriff kill them both. Thirty years later, have them both show back up again in a rotting house when two cars break down, ready to start killing again, just as that sheriff, now retired, dreams of the killer and comes looking for him. What do you get? A boring story made up entirely of slasher movie tropes. Honestly, I expected something a little more original from Fangoria, given their history with horror movies.

Avengers Classic #1
Writers: Stan Lee and Dwayne McDuffie
Artists: Jack Kirby, Dick Ayers, Michael Avon Oeming, and Kevin Maguire
Company: Marvel Comics

In the same way X-Men Classic reprinted old issues of X-Men with new back-up stories, Avengers Classic reprints old Avengers stories with new back-up material by Dwayne McDuffie and Mike Avon Oeming. This issue also includes a story by Stan Lee and Kevin Maguire about how Stan got the Avengers to form a team. It’s fairly amusing, and Maguire’s art is strong. The McDuffie story deals with the fight over the first chairman of the team and again it’s fairly amusing, with the highlight being Oeming’s new painted art style. The real highlight of this series is seeing these early issues available at a relatively cheap price in color on nice paper. Well worth picking up.

D3 (David Martindale) Read and Thought:

World War Hulk #1 of 5
Writer: Greg Pak
Artist: John Romita Jr.
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Putting all my reservations about the premise of the book (Doc Strange, Black Bolt, Prof X, Reed Richards, and Iron Man are all amoral asshats) to the side, I actually enjoyed the execution of the book. It pulls off being the comic book version of a summer action popcorn flick. No time at all is wasted as the Hulk starts kicking ass and taking names just on the sixth page. The scarce dialogue and nearly nonstop action make this a quick and fun read. The art is certainly exciting as well. Marvel has been touting this event as “The Hulk Kicks Everybody’s Ass!” In fact, it delivers exactly that so well that maybe Marvel should consider renaming the event. Be forewarned that my praise comes from my reaction to the actual execution of the concept. The concept itself is still quite weak, and if you can’t separate the two, you may not be able to enjoy the book, but if you can do so, World War Hulk packs a punch.

The Black Diamond #1
Writer: Larry Young
Artist: Jon Proctor
Publisher: Ait/Planet Lar

What a great concept. High above America, an elevated highway, the Black Diamond, runs from coast to coast , and it’s a post apocalyptic freeway of death. One man, one muscle car, one mission: get from the east coast to the west coast as fast as possible to save a loved one. Sounds like it has all the ingredients, right? Well, it doesn’t. The first issue is woefully slow paced, and the art leaves quite a lot to be desired. To be honest, the art looks as though i was a series of poorly composed photographs that were put through too harsh of a photoshop filter to make them look “comic-bookish.” The cars look just fine, but the faces… oh good lord, the faces. The facial expressions end up looking like a jumbled mess of facial features, similar to Mr. Potato Head. I can’t tell whether a character is laughing at a joke or attempting to rip somebody’s jugular out with his/her teeth. Great concept, awful execution; very skippable.